This is simply not true. Some of the happiest couples never climax together. They don’t feel pressure to do so — instead they’re focused on sex being pleasurable.
Love Clinic tip: Just for once, don’t think about climaxing yourself. Instead focus on seeing/hearing/feeling what it’s like for your partner when they do. Obviously they should try this too. You’ll learn so much about each other.
2. Women are climax-machines easily having multiple orgasms.
Many people believe this because women don’t need the same ‘recovery’ period as men. But multiple climaxes aren’t easily achieved.
Love Clinic tip: When you do reach climax, ask him to cup his hand over your clitoral region and hold it fairly firmly. If you want, he can start rocking the palm of his hand. You decide if you want to increase stimulation for a second orgasm.
3. Sex always means you both reach climax.
No way! You can have satisfying, fun and sexy foreplay together. And it doesn’t matter if one or both of you doesn’t climax because there are many reasons why you might not in any given sex session.
Love Clinic tip: Adopt a new mindset about enjoying the ‘ride’ instead of seeing sex like scoring a goal. There are no extra points for reaching orgasm — and no penalties if you don’t.
4. You’re not ‘sexy’ if you can’t climax simply by him using his fingers.
It’s a fallacy that manual stimulation of your clitoris means a climax is guaranteed. While many women love being touched in their most intimate zone, it doesn’t mean they get full satisfaction.
Love Clinic tip: Don’t let him think he should play with you the way men do in porn films. Often it’s far too rough for a real woman. After all, we’re not porn stars.
5. There’s something wrong if you can’t climax during penetrative sex.
Probably the most damaging orgasm myth. Sexology research shows only 30 percent of women climax fairly regularly through penetration. And only 15 percent climax every time. Certainly 70 percent of women can’t be wrong!
Love Clinic tip: The key to climaxing during penetration is for his pubic bone to rub against your clitoral region. If you can find a position giving that stimulation, take your time, and you may reach climax.
6. Climaxing through oral sex is a ‘second best’ way to orgasm.
Many wrongly assume this. In fact sexology research shows 20 percent of couples regularly use oral sex for the woman to reach climax because she finds it satisfying.
Love Clinic tip: You may find it over stimulating if he uses his tongue in oral sex. Instead, ask him to gently use his lips as if he’s kissing you — oh-oh-heaven!
7. Using sex toys to reach climax means you’ll stop enjoying sex with your partner.
Fear not! You get very different enjoyment with a man versus sex toys.
Love Clinic tip: Reassure him that he feels best. You can also show him how to stimulate you with a sex toy. Why not get the best of both worlds?
8. Men don’t have good orgasms while wearing condoms.
Of course men have equally good orgasms while wearing a condom. Where there may be issues is that it can take him longer to reach climax with a condom.
Love Clinic tip: It’s worth him trying the various thin ‘skin-like’ condoms available. Also, it helps to put a drop of condom-friendly lubricant inside the condom tip.
9. If you take a long time to climax you’re not ‘sexy’.
Timing has nothing to do with how sexy you are. Most women need between 20 to 30 minutes of adequate foreplay and stimulation to reach climax. And a fairly significant number need longer.
Love Clinic tip: If it takes a while for you, have him reapply some lubricant to keep you well lubricated. Also, relax! No one’s timing you.
10. There’s something wrong with you if you can’t climax in a variety of positions.
This is a ridiculous myth. Many women find they only climax in one, or maybe two, positions. It’s crucial to find a sex position that gives adequate friction between both partners’ pubic regions. With a different partner, you may find a different position works better.
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