For all purposes and in every situation, this may seem like a cardinal sin and a relationship breaker in almost all relationships that we may be in. and in all honesty it may be so but there are so many reasons why we should slow down and take a deep breath before reacting and screaming blue murder. The truth is that there’s really no big deal if we are to look at it critically.
Most people do get carried away without a conscious thought in the midst of being seriously agitated or in an extreme emotional state and they may tongue-slip the name of any person who may be close to them without having any romantic or sèxual liaison with the person whose name was called out during that intimate moment.
I’ve been in situations where people in the midst of a very serious and passionately heated argument have called out wrong names for the person with whom they were arguing.
Are we going to say that they were arguing unconsciously with the person whose name they called? Who in all honesty would not want his partner being friendly and close to his best friend? A best friend is someone who shares the same ideas and ideologies about most things with us.
Our best friends are our siblings from other parents in truth because we are inseparable from them in our thoughts and deeds. We dare to trust them with almost everything about us and our partners shouldn’t be an exception unless we are not trustworthy ourselves in which case then we have a serious problem on our hands.
The concept of trust is ephemeral I know but we need to believe in something. Believing our partner and best friend won’t stab us in the back is one of the cardinal points of dating and or being in a relationship. If there is no trust at some point in any relationship, then there is no basis for having or being in that particular relationship.
Honestly speaking, it should be admitted here without equivocations that the average person will immediately stop whatever he or she is doing at that point.
The person will most probably feel really bad about anyone’s name being called out by the partner apart from his or hers coming up and I’ll be the last person to pretend and advice that one should just let it slide in denial that nothing has happened but the truth like I have said is that it may not really be a big deal. I may want to suggest or stretch out on a limb here to say that basically speaking, stopping whatever action that is going on at that moment is wrong.
That moment may not even be the right time to ask about what is going on between both parties because addressing issues like these in the heat of the moment will make our judgment or acceptance of whatever excuse we may be given to be clouded by subjective jealousy.
And a jealousy for that matter that may not even be founded in any evidence. The deed is done and even if you become suspicious that something may be going on between both of them, you have to apply very serious wisdom in how you handle a very delicate issue like this because one wrong accusation or move on your part may cancel all traces of evidence that you may have gotten the opportunity to pick up while watching both of them secretly.
Another thing is that one really has to apply caution here. We have to be cautious that a friendship of so many years is not sacrificed on the altar of jealousy.
We need irrefutable proof on our suspicions before we should act. We have to be certain about what is going on before we need to act. Staying safe on the side of caution doesn’t make us a fool.
Instead, what it does is to show that we value the delicacies involved and that we are ready to be matured about a lot of things in life including love and friendship.
Suspect foul play
Almost every person on this earth should have at least one instance when he/she has been called a name other than his/hers in error.
Most parents mistakenly call one child by the name of his or her sibling from time to time; bosses mix up names of their employees; friends call one another wrong names in error, etc. In the same vein, a woman can mistakenly call her husband by her brother’s name while a husband could call his wife by his sister’s name in error.
But when your man mistakenly calls you by your best friend’s name, it could set the alarm on, particularly when the error is made during an intimate moment.
Imagine what will spark in your head if your husband romantically whispers your best friend’s name, instead of yours, into your ears during an intimate “episode” between you both? Will you let it slide or will you demand an explanation?
Even if your best friend is so close to you that the closeness has extended to your husband so much so that she is around you both a lot, will you consider it normal for your man to call you her name during a sacred time together?
If the error in name calling occurs when the three of you are together, ‘gisting’, one could let it slide without much ado, but not at a time when only thoughts of you should fill his head.
In my opinion, this kind of error in name calling is an indication that your man is intimate with your best friend. I cannot think up any explanation which can justify it. Just as I cannot call God my husband’s name when I am praying, a man will not call his woman by his best friend’s name during their intimate time alone, except there is more than meets the eye.
The woman would be right to assume that her man and her so-called best friend have been “catching trips” right under her nose.
In fact, she is entitled to be devastated like someone who has experienced double betrayal. Okay, I could agree with you that a woman should not jump into conclusions if faced with such “error” by her man, but I tell you, it is something that will bug any woman until she is convinced that it was a genuine error.
This is not the kind of error that should happen twice or thrice before you ask your man for an explanation. Of course, if it happens more than once, you can conclude that your best friend is “sharing” your man with you. Like I already said, during an intimate moment , only thoughts of you should fill your partner’s head.
In this regard, I shudder to think why your best friend’s name should come into your man’s thoughts and escape through his lips when his thoughts should be filled with you. So, should you be suspicious if your partner calls you by the name of your best friend during an intimate moment? Why not?
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